Today’s grandparents -- the Baby Boomers and young seniors -- wonder what all the fuss is about.  They remember going off to school each fall full of excitement and anticipation.  They couldn’t wait to meet new friends, to tackle new subjects, and to climb up one more rung on the ladder of life.   Well, that was then and this is now...as they say. The changes in the family unit, society as a whole, and in our basic “survival” economics are legion.  Today, about one out of two are single parent homes.  Single or married, most moms work outside the home, and many face morning and afternoon child care dilemmas.  This balancing act often forces choices between earning some much needed extra dollars and quality parenting times.

Back when they were in school, today’s grandparents might have been warned not to talk to strangers, but -- on average -- just about the worst thing that could happen to them during the school day was failing a test or falling off their bikes.  That was before kids took guns and weapons to school...and used them.  That was before drugs had found their way into classrooms and cafeterias, and before teenagers got so bored with the world that they took their own lives.  These days, the images on the nightly news are scarier than Freddy Kruger, and parents have run out of ways to explain the violence.  Today it’s not just the kids who are worried sick about safety; their parents are loosing sleep over it, too.

So, as the 1999-2000 school year gets underway, there are a lot of unresolved concerns and fears on top of the usual “how do I do what’s best for my child/children?” questions.  The stress of getting everyone “up and out” is magnified by safety concerns and people of all ages now complain that there’s so much to do, and so little time to do it in.  While time-management might once have been a necessary proficiency of corporate America, now they’re teaching it in elementary schools.  (Some schools are even including planners and organizers on the list of basic school supplies!)  In fact, a lot of people believe that learning time-management skills at an early age builds self-esteem and gives youngsters a sense of control over their lives.  Besides, if parents take the time to pass along these skills, teachers won’t have to waste class time on this concept.  Kids who have trouble keeping track of their belongings, who are habitually late to class, or who leave their homework at home or in their locker will also have trouble managing their studies.

Parents may not be able to stress-proof their youngsters or to isolate them from the senseless violence in the world, but here are some suggestions that might help you get youngsters off on the right track in school.

1.  Get Immunizations as recommended.  Most schools have entry requirements that include proof of immunization against potentially dangerous -- although now mostly unheard of -- childhood ailments.  There are vaccines to prevent Measles, Mumps, Polio, Rubella (German Measles), Whooping Cough (Pertussis), Diphtheria, Tetanus and Hib (Hemophilus Influenzae B, a cause of meningitis), Hepatitis B, and Chickenpox (Varicella).   According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, immunizations must begin at birth and most be completed by age two because children under age 5 have not built up the necessary defenses to fight infection, which makes them especially susceptible to disease.  A vaccination health record will help you stick to the recommended schedule, and to verify the immunization history when changing physicians or schools.

Most parents understand the importance of following the schedule for immunizations, but may not know how vaccines work.  Here’s the short answer.  First, the vaccine -- which contains a weak or dead disease germ -- is administered orally, or by injection.  Next the body begins producing antibodies to fight the invading germs.  These antibodies have a trial run at the weaker germs so if the real, more potent disease germs come along, the antibodies will be “experienced” in attacking them, and the child will not become ill.  These protective antibodies stay in the system, even after the disease is gone, to keep the illness from returning.  This is called immunity.

If you haven’t already done so, schedule a check-up with your child’s pediatrician.  Make sure all the immunizations are up to date and that you have an accurate record.  This might also be a good time to have eyesight and hearing tested.  Children who are having trouble seeing or hearing what’s going on in the classroom are destined for problems, so it’s better to catch -- and remedy -- them early .

2.  Stay Healthy.  Sometimes this is much easier said than done.  As most parents of school aged youngsters will tell you, during the first few months of their child’s school “life” they brought home a lot more than just homework -- like colds, the flu, and other infectious diseases.  Parents of kindergartners can expect chicken pox (if they haven’t already had it or been immunized against it) and at least one cold or sore throat by the winter holidays.  Regular and thorough hand-washings and keeping little fingers away from the nose and mouth can do a lot toward stopping the spread of infection, but these are difficult concepts to get across with all the other new school instructions.  Hand-washing and other preventive measures will, however, minimize the spread of germs among family members, and the little ones are quite capable of learning by example.

Two more ailments often crop up when kids are first exposed to groups of other youngsters.  Pinkeye (conjunctivitis) -- which causes red, itchy eyes, and crusty eyelashes in the morning --  is highly contagious.  The germs can be transmitted by hand to eye contact. Most cases can be treated effectively and quickly with antibiotic drugs or ointment.  In most cases, schools will send any suspicious cases of pinkeye home to stay until all the symptoms are gone.   The other condition -- head lice -- makes most parents shudder.  Before you swear it can’t happen to your child, understand that these pesky parasites care nothing about social, economic or ethnic lines, they can and do infest the heads of the very “best” children.  In fact, more than 20 percent of young school children are routinely infested with this embarrassing problem.  The tiny gray bugs are spread when kids share hairbrushes, hats, clothing...even car seats.  Condition yourself to get rid of the nits -- as their oval shaped eggs are called -- by using a fine toothed comb and any of a number of non-prescription shampoo lotions to kill eggs and adult lice.  To prevent reinfestation, wash bedclothes and clothing in hot water and disinfect combs, brushes and other contaminated items in an anti-lice solution.  Routinely check your youngster’s head and hair, and insist on frequent shampooing.

Experts say that 10 to 15 percent of all school kids complain of repeated bouts of stomachaches.  When a cause or infection can’t be identified, some stress or underlying emotional worry or concern may be the real culprit.  Sometimes chronic ailments -- that only occur on school days, and frequently on Sunday night or Monday morning -- are a child’s way of sending a message or asking for assistance with something that’s bothering them.  Get a medical opinion about the “chronic” illness, ask your child what is wrong, and check with teachers or school counselors to learn if something is bothering the child at school.  Once a pattern of staying home for stomachaches gets established, it can be hard to break so this is an issue that calls for firm rules and open conversation to identify the root cause of the problem.  Once the schoolyard bully or difficult subject or failing grade is unmasked and talked about, the problem is likely to disappear.

There are some symptoms, however, that should always be considered a red flag.  If you child has difficulty breathing, any severe pain, a high fever, severe cough, diarrhea or vomiting, or a rash of unknown origin contact your pediatrician at once.

Keeping children -- and family members -- healthy amid people who have the flu, colds or other infectious diseases can be a full time job in itself.  A healthy home regimen starts with some basic principles:  family members should get adequate sleep, eat a balanced diet with plenty of fluids, exercise regularly,  and do lots of thorough hand-washing with antibacterial soap.  Catch an illness during the initial stages when its easy to treat.  Remember that while viral infections (such as the flu) do not respond to antibiotics, diagnosed bacterial ailments (such as sore (strep) throat) can be promptly and effectively treated by them.

3.  Establish open channels of communication early.  Language may be the base for all other learning, but sometimes it’s hard to get your youngster to talk when you want them to, and to stop when you do not. One of the most important things a parent can do get their kids off to an excellent start at school is to establish an early communication foundation.  Have them recite the names of things around them, for example, as soon as they are able to talk.  As they develop and their communication skills grow, ask questions and invite them to talk about their experiences, what they did at play, about their friends, who they saw at day care or at pre-school...anything that requires them to describe people, places and things.  This simple exercise alone can prepare the child for answering the teacher’s questions at school, and help make them comfortable raising their hand in class and speaking up before their classmates.

Another positive activity is reading to you children almost from birth.  Not everyone can teach a child to read, but parents can certainly foster their child’s desire to read -- and that may be all it takes to get their young feet planted firmly on the road to success in school.  Limit TV viewing to a minimum during the school week, encourage recreational reading or the pursuit of a hobby in their spare time, and look for creative opportunities to interact with your child.  The more TV youngsters watch, the more they will rely on it for entertainment -- to the exclusion of everything else.  Video games and the Internet can also capture all of a child’s “spare time.”

Respect has its origins at home.  If this is a strong family value, children are more likely to respect teachers and figures of authority at school, too.  This means standing as a good role model and setting reasonable and enforceable limits for your child.  Avoid the temptation to complain about the time it takes to fill out all those endless forms that come home on the first day of school.  Without thinking, your grumbling could be sending the wrong message to your child that doing “assignments” is boring, tedious work.  Never make critical or disparaging remarks about school officials or teachers that your child might overhear.  Do nothing -- even unintentionally -- to diminish or tarnish their enthusiasm, respect or positive attitude about school. 

Talk with your children and reward their efforts at conversation with your absolute, undivided attention.  Invite their opinions, and really listen to -- and discuss -- their responses.  Challenge them to explain and imagine and think.  Take time to really answer questions; you’ll be able to tell how much information is enough, or when their attention has strayed.

4.  Healthy Expectations.  To do well at school, children need to get to class ready to concentrate and to learn.  They should know from their very first day at school what you expect of them in the way of behavior and effort.  Let them know that school is “children’s work,” and it is important.  It will help if a routine is established early on that includes plenty of sleep, a good breakfast and a firm study and homework agenda.  Bedtime is bedtime, not something to be negotiated night after night.

Right from day one, tell your children exactly what is expected of them: when you expect them to wake up, how long they have to get bathed and dressed, when their breakfast will be ready, and when you need to leave to get them to school on time.  There will certainly be exceptions, but an established routine builds a sense of security and order that gives youngsters a good send-off to school.

Stop and think about your own life, for a minute.  How do you react when you are awakened abruptly, have to race to get dressed, skip breakfast, and rush all the way to work.  It kind of upsets the whole day, doesn’t it?  You don’t feel quite “together,” and it’s easy for your attention to wander; to think about things you forgot in your haste to get to work.  (Did I turn off the iron?  Did I let out the cat?  Is this the way you want your children to feel when they head off to school each day?  Most likely not.  It takes some planning to prevent the morning rush hour, but it can teach kids the importance of being well organized and punctual for life.

Organization is not a lost art.  Designate a homework area so that children get in the habit of emptying their school bag every evening, doing the required homework, putting it neatly away in their back pack or notebook, ready to pick up by the door the next morning.  This not only cuts down on last minute searches, but it also eliminates “junk” buildup in the school bag and ensures that parents will receive any notices or messages sent home to them.

Set the homework rules early in the game, and specify when and where homework is to be done and stick to it.  Ask each evening about homework assignments, and be available to help.  That doesn’t mean doing your child’s homework for them.  That much help is not fair to the youngster, the teacher always knows, and it risks making your child feel inadequate.  Make it clear at the beginning of school just how much help -- and what kind -- you are willing to provide.

When it comes down to expectations for your child, ask yourself, “Whose life is it, anyway?”  There is no magic formula for raising the perfect, super-smart achievers who excel in everything they try.  Not only is that unrealistic, but this fast-paced, do-it-all mentality isn’t appropriate for all kids.  Youngsters do not need to be competing, learning, performing or participating in organized sports or activities during every moment away from school. They need unstructured play time and good quality time with their parents, too.

No matter how hard they try, parents cannot program achievement for their kids.  They can foster self-esteem, be good role models in the areas of leadership and values, and they can set firm but loving guidelines that balance discipline and fun.  Some parents translate their children’s academic prowess or athletic ability into some kind of validation of their success as parents, but it’s not about them.  Most of all, parents need to understand that their unreasonable expectations for their kids can lead to burnout and stress which can manifest itself in restless or attention-getting behavior, bed-wetting, stomachaches, and even depression.  Children are, after all, people, not high-performance, unfeeling machines.

5.  Get involved early and stay involved.  To paraphrase an old saying, education is too important to be left to educators alone.  When parents get involved in their children’s education -- and stay involved -- their youngsters do better in school.  The experts point out that parental involvement promotes better attendance and better academic achievement and, what’s more, these benefits apply no matter what the economic, racial or cultural background of the family.

Make time to visit your child’s school.  Go to open houses; go to orientation sessions with your child.  Show an interest -- no matter how tired or stressed out you may be from a long day at work.  If you place a high priority on going to their school, so will your young students.  If you don’t visit your child’s school how, for example, would you know what condition it is in?  If there are enough desks, tables or chairs...or textbooks, or computers?  Or if the classrooms are too crowded?  Or, when will you meet the people who spend a lot of hours each day teaching your child? 

If you can possibly arrange it, volunteer for a project at school and join the parent teacher organization at each of your child’s schools.  Pass along a supportive, upbeat attitude about school and education in general.  Let your children know that you have high -- but realistic -- expectations for their success and that you will be there every step along the way to help that happen.  Attend School Board meetings from time to time.  These Boards are accountable to the entire community, not to special interest groups.  Make sure the leadership of your School Board is taking the District in the right direction -- on behalf of ALL the community’s children.

Parents who invest their time, love, encouragement and support in the success of their children are usually rewarded when their “pride and joy” achieve to the best of their ability... and then pass along the same values to their children.

Laurie McKillip, M.D. Pediatrics  Physician’s Group of the Woodlands 1011 Medical Plaza Blvd., Suite 100 The Woodlands, Texas  77380 281-296-8500

Dr. McKillip completed her undergraduate studies (B.A. Biology) cum laude at Rice University in Houston, TX and earned her Medical Degree from the University of Texas Health Science Center Medical School.  She completed her Pediatric  Residency with the University of Texas Health Science Center Affiliated Hospitals -- Hermann Hospital, University Children’s Hospital and M.D. Anderson Tumor Institute.  Dr. McKillip is board certified by the American Board of Pediatrics.