PAINLESS POTTY TRAINING...
Laurie McKillip, M.D.
One diaper manufacturer has estimated that the average child goes through
6,000 diaper changes before finally graduating to training pants.
For many parents, that's about 5,000 diapers too  many.
The frustration many Moms and Dads experience when trying to encourage
their child's transition from full service to self service can be
in the same league with the stress levels they face at work. Sadly,
toileting problems are the second most common provocation of fatal child
abuse in this country.
Disposable diapers have made it easier on both parents and babies, and
disposable training pants can make the transition easier, too. There
are even some new strategies to help parents get through this difficult
period with their youngsters. Here are some useful tips and ideas
to think over...
STOP THINKING OF "IT" AS TOILET TRAINING AND TRY TOILET LEARNING
Many parents equate potty training to housebreaking a puppy, and anticipate
many trials and errors before finally achieving success. It doesn't
help to verbally tap a kid on the nose with a newspaper, though; a whole
series of events have to take place before your youngster is ready -- physically
and emotionally -- and nothing can hasten that day along!
Experts point out that toilet training is something you do to
your child. Toilet learning, on the other hand, is something you
do with your child, by helping him learn to recognize and master
a very important developmental skill for a lifetime. Some parents rush
into the potty training arena and are then upset and worried because things
don't go as planned. This should be done at the right time,
for the right reasons.
Many parents try to expedite the process because many daycare centers
won't accept -- or charge more for -- children in diapers. When this
is the driving force for getting a youngster out of diapers, Mom and Dad
are usually doomed to failure and a lot of confused tears -- and that’s
just the parents’ reaction. Pediatricians warn that asking a child
to do something for which he is not physically or developmentally prepared
can cause feelings of inadequacy if he fails to live up to a parent's expectations,
and that's more stress than any toddler needs.
While just a generation ago, it was "fashionable" to toilet train children
by the time they were two years old, today the American Academy of Pediatricians
suggests that the best strategy is not to adhere to such rigid guidelines,
but to let the child lead the way. It works and it's a lot less stressful.
PHYSICAL, COGNITIVE AND BEHAVIORAL READINESS.
Let's face it; toddlers are not known for being overly cooperative.
In many cases, however, their minds might be willing to move on to "grown
up" bathroom skills, but their bodies are not. Until about 18 months
of age, a child's neuromuscular development is still too immature to master
“command performance” toileting. Excretory functions up to this point
are controlled by an automatic mechanism.
As adults, most parents don't remember what they went through before
they were safely "potty trained." If you stop to think about it,
learning to use the bathroom is a complicated process. A youngster
must first feel the  sensation
of a full bowel or bladder, understand what that feeling means, and
then be able to make the connection between dry pants and using the toilet.
He has to send a mental command to his sphincter muscles to "Hold," and
then to physically contract them. He has to walk to the bathroom,
unzip, unsnap or unbutton and pull down his pants, approach the toilet
or potty, and then let it go! If a child cannot do all this, he is
not potty trained; his parents are trained by being able to predict when
their child is likely to relieve himself and having the potty or toilet
in close proximity.
While each child is different, it is probably a safe bet that by age
two and a half, toilet teaching can productively begin. There will
be some signals along the way: a child may wake up dry from a nap,
and stay dry for longer periods of time. He may pause during playtime
-- or even look surprised -- when urinating. He may complain about
being wet or dirty and indicate by gestures or words that it is time to
change his diaper. It is not far from this realization to understanding
that he will feel better dry and clean by using the toilet instead of his
diaper. For some youngsters, this discovery coupled with the encouragement
to do something else just "like the grown-ups" sets them firmly on the
road to making the transition.
Once your child appears to be physically and emotionally ready to begin
toilet teaching, be sure your toddler can: follow simple instructions;
walk to the bathroom without help; pull pants down and back up without
assistance; and understand what the toilet is for. Then it is your
job to put the three C’s into action: to be Casual, Confident
and Consistent.
GETTING STARTED.
Decide whether you will purchase a potty chair for your youngster, or
if you will teach them to use the standard toilet from the start.
Some argue that potty chairs have to be emptied into the toilet anyway,
and foregoing the potty means avoiding another transition down the road.
One of the first milestones in toilet teaching is getting your toddler
to tell you when she has to go, and then successfully holding it until
you can get her to the toilet. One way to start this process, is
to place her bare bottomed on the seat of choice, and tell her this is
where she will go "potty." Sometimes, a little suggestion helps.
Run the water in the sink while she is sitting there, and perhaps she'll
feel the urge to urinate, turning a practice run into a direct hit!
When this happens, celebrate it like the joyous occasion it is. Praise
her, hug her, encourage her. But don't set up a system of rewards
for a natural process. Being dry and clean and "grown up" is reward
in itself.
Demonstrate how the toilet lid goes up and down and how the handles
makes the water flush the contents of the bowl away. Explain from
the start, however, that the toilet is not a plaything and that one of
the most important bathroom "rules" is to wash your hands after going potty.
Never force a child to sit on the toilet for prolonged periods of time
if nothing is happening. If your child wants to get up after one
minute, let her do so. And never hold or strap a child on the toilet.
Try placing your child on the toilet after naptime, or about 20 minutes
after a meal and say, "I bet you have to go potty now” -- or whatever the
choice of words you decide upon for body parts and elimination functions.
Praise all cooperation with hugs and encouragement.
DRESSING FOR SUCCESS.
Once your toilet teaching is underway, it will make a big difference
what your toddler wears. Forget about fancy overalls and ruffled
tights during the early stages. The most important thing is for the
child to be able to negotiate pulling his or her pants down and getting
to the toilet in time. When you're at  home,
a T-shirt and training pants will be just fine. Some kids will take
to the toilet at once and leave the diapers behind for good. Girls
seem to learn faster than boys. But all youngsters will have accidents.
They don't do it on purpose; very young children don't feel the urge to
go until the very last minute...and sometimes that is just too late.
Other times your youngster will sit on the toilet without results, and
have an accident five minutes later. While these times may try your
soul, it is important to be understanding and encourage better luck next
time.
DRY DAYS AND WET NIGHTS.
It is more difficult to maintain bladder control at night, so most children
achieve daytime dryness long before they are able to wake up dry.
Nearly 25 percent of all five year-olds still wet their beds. This
is perfectly normal. Even after you thought the process was completed,
youngsters may sometimes regress and go back to having accidents -- during
the night or daytime. While each child is different, daytime control
is usually achieved by age three-and-a-half to four years and bed-wetting
stops by age six. If your child hasn't learned the appropriate bathroom
skills beyond these ages, consult your pediatrician as there are sometimes
physical causes for delayed control. |
